Yesterday, as I walked in the door of the babysitters to pick up my Doodlebugs, I was greeted with a not-so-energetic 10 year old boy who looked like he had just lost his favorite Nerf gun. He said, "Mama, come here I have to talk to you in private." Okay, you have to picture the scene...all kids are in the playroom, except for my son, the babysitter is in the kitchen, and we are standing in the den with nobody, not even Casper the ghost was present. Private enough? One would think but we must step out onto the porch. I know it is going to be something that is not going to please me even a smidgen of an amount because it begins with the look...puppy dog eyes and a forced smile that he believes is going to win me over before we even get started. Patience I tell myself. Taking a deep breath, I remind myself to speak calmly. I have geared myself up for the worst. As his crystal blue puppy dog eyes blink hard at me, he tells me this, "Mom, you know the other day when you asked if Ihad done my homework and I said we did it in class?" I calmly answer, "Yes, son, I do." His reply, "Well, I got a zero on it for not turning it in." Blink, blink, blink. I answer him with, "Didn't you know that you should have turned it in if it was homework?" and this was said after another deep breath because like I said, I had prepared for something ALOT worse. He, at this point, tearfully says, "No" and heads to get in the truck.
As I gather my other Doodlebug, and her things, the babysitter says that she was asked to speak to me by a very worried little boy about some homework that he didn't turn in and received a zero on. Now, mind you, this is the first thing I am greeted with from my son as I enter the house. I tell her that he has already told me and she says that she is glad he got the nerve to tell me himself. Okay, now with everything in hand, including my daughter, I head to the truck to go home.
I find my oldest Doodlebug sitting there in the passengers seat with Niagra Falls streaming down his face. My heart begins to break. I was strong through the puppy dog eyes and I tell myself again to be strong through these tears. He is now not only upset but MAD that he got a zero. I ask him what made him think that his "homework" didn't have to be turned in. Much to my surprise he replies with "because we did it in class." Now my child is smarter than this. He KNOWS that he has to turn in homework. What happened? Did he have a complete brain fart? Homework MUST be turned in whether you do it in class or at home. It has been 2 weeks since it was due. I guess he thought that he could just leave it in his book and somehow she would find it and be able to grade it.
I first have to get the tears to stop. Okay, I don't quite get this part accomplished but I do manage to get them to slow enough that he can actually hear me over his sobs. I explain to him that this is a bad situation he's found himself in and yes, I am upset about the zero and his lack of understanding that he should have turned it in to the teacher. But, I continue, the lesson he is learning is that no matter if "homework" is done in class or at home, it should be turned in so he can get a grade.
Now that he is calmed down and the wetness from his eyes is no more, I ask him how he thinks he can remedy the situation and raise his grade. The smart Doodlebug that I know he is looked at me and said, "work harder and get 100s on my other papers in math to bring this zero up." YES YES YES!!! I knew he was smart!!! Not showing my excitement, I calmly tell him that he is right and that it is very important to pay close attention to the problems in math so that he doesn't make careless mistakes which could lead to more bad grades. I also tell him that through this lesson he is learning, he will find that hard work and paying attention will reward him with better grades and bring that zero up.
We now resume to our usual evening routine and as he finishes his math homework for the night, he writes his teacher a note asking if there is any extra work he can do to help bring his grade up. Now he is thinking!!!
As the night continues on and I put my Doodlebugs to bed, I tell my son I love him, that I am very proud of him and that sometimes in life, there are just lessons we must learn. For the ripe old age of 10 , this is one of them. He tells me he is sorry for his lack of attention to things and that he loves me. I walk out of his room a proud mama who loves her kids more than life itself and with a smile on my face!!
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